REFLECTIONS ON PATRIARCHY
To reflect on why patriarchy isn’t a cry that is taken seriously by our men in the revolution.
It is because we love them.
We love them even though we know their patriarchal tendencies.
We continue to love them even though they hurt us.
We continue to let them touch us because love in the revolution is a thing.
But in reality, men in the revolution depend on us emotionally, mentally, financially, physically.
They don’t know this, but we know this and because we continue to love them they don’t take our
cries of hurt and pain seriously.
These men don’t love us.
They don’t respect us.
They don’t take us serious.
If black women collectively stopped loving black men, three things will happen
1. Black Men will finally realize the gravitas of the potential rift that is forming between us
2. If Black women collectively stopped loving black men, in having gotten to that collective emotional point, I don’t know if it will be possible to love Black Men again
3. If Black women are unable to love the black man then there will be no black liberation. White supremacy knows this, this is why the dysfunctional stereotypes.
So I urge all Black Men…
Love us.
Respect us.
Take us serious.
Don’t push us to the point where we cease to love you.
Where we cease to immortalize you in poetry.
HE WHISPERED WISDOMS INTO ME
He whispered wisdoms into me
That spoke of how the
Excellence of
Zion will
Reign down upon me by the
Almighty
And he whispered wisdoms into me
That put power, fearlessness and immortality into my melanin
Forever changing my understanding of a love filled black revolution
You see, he whispered wisdoms into me and became
My physical decolonization
My love liberation
My epistemic emancipation
He whispered wisdoms into me that turned me prisoner.
Confined me to loving he who whispered wisdoms into me in the spiritual realm
An emotional isolation where I cannot touch he who whispered wisdom into me
And when my love language is touch
I cannot love him properly like this
I cannot love him fully like this
I cannot love him purely like this
I cannot bring forth God like this
Not when he who whispered wisdoms into me
Spoke of our love as an act that built black empire
Spoke of our love that saw black transcendence of oppression
Spoke of our love as rooted firmly in the peace and acceptance
Of
God, our father Who
art in heaven Hallowed
be thy name Thy
kingdom has come I
have found my Eve
Thy will, will now begin to be done
On this earth as it is in heaven
So prayed he who whispered wisdoms into me
So prayed he who whispered wisdoms into me
And in his face I saw God.
In his voice I heard God
Manifested in the physical of this praying, God fearing, strong, good black man
And I heard I will love you forever
Through the voice of he who whispered wisdoms into me
The God in me fully recognized the God in him, enlightening my soul to feel and know that we were
one and the same
So when he who whispered wisdoms into me got the God stomped out of him by the white man’s
boot
I ceased to exist
In him
As God
And in that moment he who whispered wisdoms into me was born again
As she, Queen Sheba who sat, having brought frankincense and myrrh, listening to the whispered
wisdoms of King Solomon
Rising from death to reside within me, the he who whispered wisdoms into me
Now lives in me,
I am trapped forever in a love that I cannot escape.
How is it possible that God,
Whose promises are eternal,
Could not love me forever?
How is it possible that the God in me could have misrecognized the God in he who whispered
wisdoms into me?
How is it possible that our loving was a mistake?
How could I have known that our love was not a love at all
But my own self-sacrificial prayer for such a liberating love?
With he who whispers wisdoms into me?
With he who pours love into me
With he who kisses peace upon me
With he who wraps safety around me
Allowing me to let go of the protection of being a mythological strong black woman
And received the
Excellence of
Zion that is
Reigned down upon me by the
Almighty
He who whispered wisdoms into me
Is me
And I am he who whispered wisdoms into me
And when the call came to say something I’m giving up on you
I said nothing, so I’m so sorry that I couldn’t get to
He who whispered wisdoms into me
And when I woke to find that he who whispered wisdoms into me had only ever existed within me
I prayed a tear laced prayer to God that I would one day be shown the love I gave away
Unconditionally
To he who whispered wisdoms into me
CONSENT
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you fucking speak it?
This question of ‘are you sure it wasn’t just rough sex?’ found in rape culture discourses
Iyangicasula, ngathi uzonya
It upsets me because it equates rough sex to rape
It assumes rape to be rough sex, where rough sex becomes rape
Which I find to be highly problematic because what if,
Part of my character as a complex and layered human being
Is a sadist tendency to enjoy pain during sex?
You know that work the middle till it hurt a little type shit
Pain as the constant emotional manifestation of my experiences with men
Men as the most potent metaphor for pain
And in an attempt to conquer and take back the poisonous power of phallic pain
I turn it into something that serves me
A woman enjoying rough sex has given her consent
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you fucking speak it?
There is a difference
Between a woman wanting to be
Grabbed, choked, spanked and slapped around during sex
Because that’s that freaky shit she likes
And having someone grab me, choke me, spank me, slap me
Because I exist!
Because my very existence arouses men
And because they are men in this society
They can grab me, choke me, spank me, slap me, rape me without my fucking consent!
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you fucking speak it?
I mean you don’t see men walking around grabbing each other’s dicks in out in public, now why?
Because men respect other men
But these men don’t respect us
Out here asking disrespectful questions like ‘are you sure it wasn’t just rough sex?’ Rough sex??
Let me tell you what rough sex is.
Rough sex is me tying all four of your limbs to this bed
Deep throating that dick
And then I castrate you, slice the skin off your nutsack
And then wearing it like a fucking doek
That’s rough sex.
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Out here asking disrespectful questions like ‘are you sure it wasn’t just rough sex?’
Come through papi, come through
And I’ll show you some rough sex boo
And you can contribute to my nutsack doek collection
I don’t discriminate
All types of rapist nutsack skins are welcome
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you speak it?
Consent motherfucker, do you fucking speak it?